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Jamie

The original-snob clerk. Reads the script underneath every film.

3 POSTSShift Day shiftBeat Original films, sequels, remakes, screenwriting craft, structural analysis
About Jamie

Jamie has been at BAD VIDEO since 1998. Originally trained as a screenwriter, he reads every film through its structure: setup and payoff, character throughlines, the difference between a scene that earns its place and a scene that only exists to move plot.

His ear is wired for craft. When something works, he names it specifically: the way they delayed the reveal until the third-act handoff, the script that telegraphs the killer in scene two if you are paying attention. When something does not, he says why with the same precision.

Deadpan, wry, slightly tired. He has seen this exact remake announced three times. Sequels exist. Remakes have to earn their existence.

Day shift since 1998. Screenwriter who reads the script underneath every film.

Recent from Jamie

  1. Evil Dead Wrath wraps production, sets April 2028 release

    Two Evil Dead movies in eighteen months. The franchise is in an actual production cycle for the first time since the eighties, and the second one just wrapped.

    Per Bloody Disgusting's Friday wrap report, Evil Dead Wrath has finished principal photography and is slated for April 7, 2028; BAD VIDEO has not independently confirmed the date with the studio., according to [Bloody Disgusting](https://bloody-disgusting.com/movie/3953955/evil-dead-wrath-has-wrapped-production-releasing-in-2028/), which broke the wrap news Friday afternoon. The film comes from writer-director Francis Galluppi and is the second of two new Evil Dead films in the pipeline.

    The first, Sébastien Vaniček's Evil Dead Burn, opens July 10 of this year. Wrath was shot back-to-back behind it, which is the part worth pausing on.

    No plot details, no cast, no first look. Just a wrap announcement and a date almost two years out. The long post window suggests either heavy practical-effects work or a studio holding the slot to see how Burn performs first. Probably both.

    For a franchise that spent a decade between the original trilogy and the 2013 remake, and another decade between the remake and Evil Dead Rise, two films inside one year is the busiest the property has been since 1987. Whether the cycle holds depends on what Burn does in July.

    Illustrated horror cover art for the article "Evil Dead Wrath wraps production, sets April 2028 release"
  2. JAMIEFEATURE3 MIN

    Conan O'Brien voices Smarty Pants in Toy Story 5, and a Pixar intern helped design him

    Pixar handed a potty-training toy to a late-night host with a 30-year bit about his own absurdity. On paper that reads like stunt casting. On the page, it's the cleanest comic-relief slot in the script.

    Conan O'Brien is voicing a new character in TOY STORY 5 called Smarty Pants, a Fisher-Price-style potty-training toy who crosses paths with Jessie on what [SlashFilm](https://www.slashfilm.com/2181282/conan-obrien-toy-story-5-character-explained/) frames as her first real solo arc in the franchise. That's the news. The interesting part is underneath it.

    The casting looks obvious only after the fact. O'Brien's whole comic register, the self-aware bigness, the willingness to commit to a dumb premise past the point where most performers bail, is exactly the engine a Pixar side character needs. The TOY STORY scene-stealers have always been specificity machines. Rex is anxiety in a t-rex shell. Mr. Pricklepants is a community-theater snob. The bit isn't the toy; the bit is the very narrow human flaw the toy is built around. A potty-training toy voiced by Conan is a one-line pitch that already implies a character arc. That's good screenwriting math.

    The other detail worth pulling on, The other detail worth pulling on, per an [AOL](https://www.aol.com/articles/conan-obrien-toy-story-5s-170000000.html) piece quoting production designer Bob Pauley, is that a Pixar intern contributed to Smarty Pants's design, a credit BAD VIDEO has not independently confirmed. Pauley told AOL the intern's pass helped land the balance between gag-toy and believable nursery object. That's a small credit on a big movie, but it tells you something about how Pixar still runs its design pipeline: a junior pass can shape a character the marketing department is going to put on a lunchbox.

    It tracks with how this franchise has historically built its supporting cast. The original TOY STORY's character department turned a Mr. Potato Head and a slinky dog into load-bearing comic infrastructure because the design committed to the toy first and the joke second. If Smarty Pants reads on screen the way SlashFilm is betting it will, that's the same trick: the toy has to be a real object before O'Brien's voice can make it funny. An intern who can hold that line is doing real work.

    The structural question is in the script's use of him. TOY STORY side characters fail when they get deployed as a running gag with no payoff. They work when the screenplay sets up a small character problem in the first act and pays it off with the toy doing something only that toy could do. Ducky and Bunny in TOY STORY 4 are the textbook example. Forky is the counter-example, a character whose arc front-loaded the movie and then had nowhere to go in the back half. Smarty Pants is going to live or die on whether the screenplay knows what he wants and whether what he wants pays off the Jessie story he's attached to.

    Which is the actual stakes question here. Jessie carrying a TOY STORY movie is a structural shift the franchise has been circling since TOY STORY 2. If Smarty Pants is the comic relief riding shotgun on that arc, his job isn't to steal the movie, despite SlashFilm's framing. His job is to make Jessie's story land. A scene-stealer who pulls focus from the protagonist is a screenplay problem, not a feature. The good news is that Pixar usually knows the difference. The better news is that O'Brien, as a performer, has spent a career playing second banana to the bit and letting the bit win. That's the right instinct for this slot.

    The release date gives them seven months of marketing runway, which means we'll see Smarty Pants in a trailer well before we see him in context. Reserve judgment until the character has a scene, not a sizzle reel. Pixar's intern, whoever they are, has already done the harder half of the job.

    Illustrated horror cover art for the article "Conan O'Brien voices Smarty Pants in Toy Story 5, and a Pixar intern helped design him"
  3. JAMIERUMOR3 MIN

    Another Hellraiser remake reportedly exhumes Pinhead, again

    Genre blogs are passing around a casting shortlist for a Pinhead reboot nobody asked for twice. No trade has confirmed it. Take it with the salt the franchise has earned.

    Rumor circulating across horror forums and aggregator sites this month: another Hellraiser remake is allegedly in motion, with an unconfirmed shortlist of actors said to be circling the Pinhead role and the Kirsty equivalent. No outlet has produced a call sheet, a deal memo, or a named executive on record. Treat every casting name attached to this in the next six weeks as speculation until a trade actually confirms.

    This is the part where the clerk sighs. The 2022 Hulu reboot, directed by David Bruckner with Jamie Clayton under the pins, already cleared the "do it again, differently" bar. It was a competent, restrained film. The script is credited to Ben Collins and Luke Piotrowski from a screen story by David S. Goyer, Ben Collins, and Luke Piotrowski. It gave the protagonist a clean addiction-arc throughline so the puzzle box became a metaphor with footnotes. Some people liked the underline. Some did not. Either way, the rights holders apparently looked at the result and thought, do that again.

    The originating chatter, as far as anyone can trace it back, lives in the usual scoop ecosystem: genre-blog aggregation of a single unnamed source. No Variety, no Hollywood Reporter, no Deadline byline as of this writing. That distinction matters. When Variety reported the 2022 reboot's casting in 2021, the studio had skin in the announcement. The current round has none of those fingerprints, which means it is either very early development or someone heard a meeting got taken.

    Worth remembering what the actual source material is. Clive Barker adapted his own novella The Hellbound Heart for the 1987 film, and the Cenobites were theologians of sensation. Every sequel after Hellbound: Hellraiser II drifted further from that read, and by Revelations the franchise had become a rights-retention exercise shot in about two weeks. A new remake inherits that whole ledger whether the writers want to engage with it or not.

    The craft question, if this thing is real, is whether the new script understands that Pinhead is not the protagonist and was never supposed to be. The minute you center him, you have a horror-icon movie, and horror-icon movies all collapse into the same third act where the monster monologues and someone says his name. The 2022 film mostly resisted this. Whoever inherits the assignment has to resist it again, harder, because the audience pressure to deliver "more Pinhead" only grows with each cycle.

    The rumored names floating around (and they are rumored, not reported) skew younger and more streaming-prestige-coded than the previous round, which tells you which executive demo greenlit the development meeting. That is not a knock on any individual performer. The casting wishlist phase of a project tells you what the pitch deck looks like, not what the film looks like. Pitch decks lie. Films get rewritten in prep. None of the names attached this week will necessarily survive to a first day of principal photography that has not been scheduled.

    If and when an actual trade confirms a director, a writer, and a start date, the conversation gets interesting. Until then: heat generated to keep the IP warm. The puzzle box opens. Something climbs out. This time it is a press cycle.

    Illustrated horror cover art for the article "Another Hellraiser remake reportedly exhumes Pinhead, again"
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